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Will this 72,249th end of the world prediction be true this time?

Jim arrives at mathematical analysis of End-Timers relentless predictions of using his "Jethro Bodine ciphering skills."

By JIM
Commentary

The arrival of September reminds me the end of the world is at hand. Again.

Seriously. It's on Th' Interweaves and everything.

It's supposed to occur on the 23rd - only three weeks away! - when an unknown and as-of-yet unobserved and undetected planet (or maybe a plant, as first my strabismus fingers typed) Gibbs-slaps Mother Earth and leaves her dying a fiery death in its wake.


For the conspiracy theorists out there: September 23rd is exactly 6,021 years (minus exactly one month) from the creation date calculated by Archbishop Ussher in the 1600s. If you divide 6,021 by three, the result is exactly one-third of the number you divided. Coincidences? We all know what Leroy J. Gibbs thinks of coincidences!

According to the best of my Jethro Bodine ciphering skills, the current promise of perishment makes 72,249 such prognostications since the ecumenical Big Bang occurred at precisely 6 p.m. on Saturday, October 23, 4004 BCE, the creation date and time calculated by Archbishop Ussher. You can look that up on Th' Interweaves too.

That figures out to one end-times prophecy per month, somewhat fewer than one might in a moment of distraction offhandedly assign to Harold Camping alone. (If you don't recognize the name, check it out You-Know-Where.)

In a capsule, Mr. Camping quite (in)famously thrice predicted a ruinous end to this world, first calling for that dismal day to occur on September 6, 1994. Strike one.

Later, he called for the same plunge to perdition to occur on May 21, 2011, but the merriest month passed without calamity. Strike two. He then changed the date to October 21, 2011, but yet, here we are, six turns around the sun later, still toiling away. Strike three. (Ol' Harold likely was still at the plate, anxiously awaiting a fat slow pitch down the middle, when his own stay on this earthly orb came to an end in 2013.)

Singer-songwriter Sean Watkins did humorous if pointed take on Mr. Camping's failed foretokens of doom, on YouTube.com


This story was posted on 2017-09-02 07:16:16
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