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Carol Perkins: Manifesto - the case against chickens

Remembers the only true reward was the when the chickens' laid eggs which made their way into her grandmothers famous dump cake.
Next previous Carol Perkins article: Carol Perkins: The most idiotic thing I've done in my life

By Carol Perkins

Chickens are nasty creatures. Those of you who raised chickens back in the days of chicken coups and henhouses in the back yard know this is true. Even when I visited my grandmother and begged to collect the eggs, I knew they were nasty, dangerous and confrontational. As I lifted a chicken "leg" from her nest, she could either cooperate or peck me. Being nice to the chicken did not assure me of her being nice to me.


Finding chicken eggs is like panning for gold

Finding eggs is like panning for gold. Almost. The "golden" egg, however, did not come with a prize unless my grandmother planned to use a few of them to make her famous "dump" cake, which was a one layer cake, dumped into a bowl, and then a sugar concoction made with water and butter and a little nutmeg was poured over it. Soggy, but so tasty.

Chickens have a sisterhood. Step inside their henhouse and see if they don't rally against you. If you own chickens, you have been pecked more than once, chased around the lot, and left with a feather or two to prove it. Chickens are dangerous creatures if you ruffle their feathers.


Tempting children at Easter with back chicks should be against the law

Adults tempt children at Easter with baby chicks. That ought to be against the law. I do think it is illegal to dye them now, but no one should try to pawn one off one a child. A child would pet a small snake, but not bring one home. Yet, these little chicks paraded before them are too tempting. "Please let me have one. PLEASE. I'll take care of it." How many pets have kids promised to take care of and promptly forgotten after two days, leaving the care to Mom or Dad?

I remember saying "yes" a few times when I should have said no. The only saving grace (don't judge me harshly) is that I knew the little thing would probably die. They usually do and then parents have to cope with burying it and watching little daughters cry over the dead chick.


I appreciate them more from afar

Nothing against chickens personally, but I appreciate them much more from "afar" than I would in my backyard.

Carol Perkins is a regular weekly ColumbiaMagazine.com columnist and a co-host with Susan Chambers on the very popular The "Susan & Carol, Unscripted" show, live. FM 99.1 radio each Tuesday Morning at 10amCT.


This story was posted on 2016-04-28 10:04:44
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