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Carol Perkins: Parkway Encounter

I am convinced that in the wilds of the woods along the Parkway, a herd of deer are playing a video game that requires outrunning vehicles. 'It's your turn, Bambi, you are fast; let's see if you can make it across.' Most of the lovely creatures win the challenge, but then there is the one who doesn't. That would be the one I left behind on the Parkway just last week. - CAROL PERKINS
Next earlier Carol Perkins column: For better and worse

By Carol Perkins

A deer crashed into my car last week, committing suicide and leaving me with a death grip on the steering wheel and a streak of anger in the pit of my stomach. "Stupid deer!" I yelled to my victim. Perhaps I should say my assailant. "Why would you run right in front of me when you could have waited just five seconds and I would have been gone? Didn't you see my car lights?" Instead, he waited FOR me, evidently, and without warning threw himself into my path, leaving hair stuck in my bumper and another accident (this one not my fault) to report to my insurance.

I am on probation with my insurance because I turned in three claims in two years. All were my fault. One-I backed into a friend's car in our driveway because I forgot she was parked in my path. I did a number on her convertible. The second was when I backed into a light pole in a parking lot that was large enough for a semi to turn around in successfully. Another-I backed into a sign pole and dented my fender and knocked out my sensor. Guy suggested I not turned the last one in and fix it myself, but I concluded that for roughly fifty years I have had no claims so SURELY I would be forgiven. Not so. My insurance went up significantly enough for the company to reclaim what they had paid out. I might as well have done as Guy wished. What is the purpose for insurance?

Back to the deer. Normally, I watch for deer, which is a danger in itself because in doing so the driver looks to the shoulders rather than to the road. This night I had my new manicure and pedicure on my mind and the trip to Jacksonville ahead of me. In other words, I was focused on the future not the present. I didn't see the deer until its brown hide lifted as he hit the passenger's side of the car with a bomb-like blast. Like the AARP magazine suggested for senior citizens (or anyone) who hits a deer, I did not brake nor did I swerve to miss him; I plowed right into him and the body catapulted somewhere behind me. "Did you stop?" Guy asked.

"Of course not. What would I have done for the poor animal? I didn't want to see what I had done or what he had done to me." Honestly, I was ticked off and at that moment didn't care about the deer but only about the money, the time, and the inconvenience it had caused. The plan to drive the car to Florida was out.

When I drove into the garage, Guy came out to meet me and immediately saw the car. "OH, NO," he said. "What happened?" His look told me he thought I had done something to cause this.

"Deer."

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm mad at the deer."

I am convinced that in the wilds of the woods along the Parkway, a herd of deer are playing a video game that requires outrunning vehicles. "It's your turn, Bambi, you are fast; let's see if you can make it across." Most of the lovely creatures win the challenge, but then there is the one who doesn't. That would be the one I left behind on the Parkway just last week.


Carol Perkins, the writer of this popular CM Column, is an author, owner and operator (until May 2015) of Main Street Screenprinting, 601 S. Main Street, Edmonton, KY, Phones 270-432-3152 and 270-670-4913 and is co-host of Susan (Susan Shirley Chambers) & Carol (Carol Sullivan Perkins) on 99.1 The Hoss, regularly live at 10amCT, each Tuesday.


This story was posted on 2015-05-21 06:30:58
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