Everything for Your Home's
Beauty, Comfort & Convenience 384-2123
704 Jamestown St, Columbia
Dr. Ronald P. Rogers
Support for your body's natural healing capabilities
Click here for details
Click here for information
Real Estate & Auction Co.
Duo County Telecom
Now Available Through
Your Cable Service!
GUN & PAWN
What's Going On
Info about the
Janice Holt Giles
and Henry Giles Society
Columbia Gas Dept.
GAS LEAK or GAS SMELL
24 hrs/ 365 days
270-384-2006 or 9-1-1
Call before you dig
Directory of Churches
phone numbers and more
for churches in Adair County
Tom Chaney: Billboard Dreaming
Of Writers And Their Books: Billboard Dreaming. Tom dreams of unwritten books half read and of billboards flapping their messages in a thunderstorm of tatters. This column first appeared 28 March 2010.
By Tom Chaney
I been dreaming about reading books and billboards -- from a song my mother used to sing.
When I was walking down the street, a billboard caught my eye.
Vatican detectives riding herd on cattle roundups.
Cowboys rustling insurance settlements.
Poets singing in the electric rain.
And Judas Iscariot betrays Doc Holliday at the O K Corral.
Books are real!
Spring is upon us -- time to go to the woods in search of mushrooms and to spy the ancient whangdoodle bird whose chill trill is the first mating call of the year -- last seen on the banks of the ancient river Whiloway where it enters the river Green just east of Paradise.
And I dream of unwritten books half read; of billboards flapping their messages in the thunderstorm of adult book stores where half-clad lovers astraddle Harlequin romance novels wink at the flames of hell -- told by astonished Puritans come to scorn. And Billy Goat Gruff tosses the troll off the rackety wooden bridge.
"Hell is Real!"
Use frequent flyer points along the way. See the giant lava pits where disconsolate dinosaurs dabble all the day in a diasporic eternity and enormous Euclidean eucalyptus trees eternally shed their iridescent blossoms along the primrose path to perdition.
Patricia Cornwell rides a pale horse to Banbury Fair.
Louis L'Amour's lover gallops sidesaddle across the plain.
I awaken from the dream as the billboard flashes by to
See Shirley Temple wrestle
Tom Chaney can be found telling stories, planning his next meal, and occasionally selling books at
Box 73 / 111 Water Street
Horse Cave, Kentucky 42749
Email: Tom Chaney - email@example.com
This story was posted on 2015-03-29 08:24:30
Printable: this page is now automatically formatted for printing.
Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know.
To sponsor news and features on ColumbiaMagazine, please use our contact form.
More articles from topic Tom Chaney: Of Writers and Their Books:
Edward Petko differs on article on Joseph Altsheler
Tom Chaney: Down these mean streets
Tom Chaney: Fragments of Deceit
Tom Chaney: Five Years and Going Around Again
Tom Chaney: Even If It's Broken, Don't Fix It
Tom Chaney: Cyrus Edwards on the Elizabeth Wilson Family
Tom Chaney: Crime and Punishment by the Quire
Tom Chaney: The Ledger of a Country Store
Tom Chaney: Shadows on the Wall of The Cave
Tom Chaney: Western Trails and Ralph Compton
View even more articles in topic Tom Chaney: Of Writers and Their Books
Click for Info
Bank of Columbia
If You're Thinking of Selling,
Let Us Do the Yelling
Principal Broker & Auctioneer
Burton Real Estate
& Auction Service
Call Us For Appraisals
Click for Listings
On This Site
or Click Here
The Best of
Local Stories of
The Greatest Generation
Order Book or e-Book
See who's celebrating
Birthdays and Anniversaries
Special Events List
Find Great Stuff in
Antiques, Help Wanted,
Autos, Real Estate,
Legal Notices, More...
ColumbiaMagazine.com content is available as an RSS/XML feed for your RSS reader or other news aggregator.
Contact us: Columbia Magazine and columbiamagazine.com are published by D'Zine, Ltd., PO Box 906, Columbia, KY 42728.