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Carol Perkins: The Car Wash The man who invented car washes is a genius. Nothing is so refreshing as a clean car, writer says. But a thrilling episode in the lives of the Perkinses in Brentwood turns out with hilarious moments. Click on headline for complete column. Then to continue reading more Carol Perkins articles, including the next previous ones, scroll beyond the end of this column and links to others will appear. It's never-ending fun! By Carol Perkins Whoever came up with the idea for a car wash was a genius. You pull your vehicle up, put in your money, and aim for the track that guides your vehicle ever so slowly through until the light comes on indicating you are finished. Sure takes the pain out of the hours of scrubbing, soaping, and rinsing I used to do when I was a teenager and found joy in washing my own car. Nothing feels so refreshing as a clean car I like to lay my head back and relax those few minutes as I feel the rotation of the brushes against the side of my car and see the soap covering the windows like thick fog on a damp night. Nothing feels so refreshing as a clean car. How can anyone mess up a trip through a car wash? You had to be there. After we left the tax office (last story) we went to Brentwood to visit Carla and her family. Our friend Connie was with us, so we were reliving the flat tire incident and laughing about how mad I had been at Guy. I was over it by then. We were near Carla's home when Guy decided to fill up with gas so he wouldn't have to later. "I'm going to run this nasty vehicle through the car wash." He always says my truck is nasty which it is. Knew he wasn't going to hit track going into car wash Not being used to my SUV, I knew when he headed the vehicle into the car wash that he wasn't going to hit the track, but I didn't say a word. Honest to goodness, not one word. As he slowly moved toward the entrance, I felt the front tire hit the track so I thought maybe I had misjudged his ability. Actually, the front tire was on the track but the back one was not. When he plugged in the code and drove forward, placed the vehicle in neutral, nothing happened. We didn't move. "Why don't you drive up a little closer?" I suggested. We all three bantered back and forth as to the problem as Guy kept easing the vehicle forward until we activated the soap machine that began squirting red, yellow, and blue soap all over the Tahoe. Something still wasn't right. As the heavy strips of the mop slapped the windshield and sides, stage one of the procedure, nothing else followed. We were frozen. I told him he was going to have to drive forward "You're going to have to drive forward," I said. "The track is supposed to pull us through; we're not supposed to drive." I wanted to say, "But you aren't on track" but I didn't. He finally tried to drive forward as the soap continued to spray, but the truck wouldn't move. "Try backing up," Connie suggested. When he put the car in reverse, it moved alright but not the way we wanted it to. The three tires that were never in the track slid sideways like it had hit black ice and slammed into the arm of the soap machine as it continued to dish out suds. The other tire, caught in the track, was fighting for dear life to get out. With enough gas to the engine, that tire jumped the track and we flew out the back of that car wash covered in suds. Guy insisted car wash wasn't made for wide tires "This car wash isn't made for these big tires," Guy insisted as he turned on the wipers to get the suds off the window. "Do you see a sign that said, 'No vehicles with wide tires allowed'? There was nothing to do but try again. This time Connie got out of the back seat in order to guide Guy onto the track. A cliff was to our right so she backed us up to the edge, nudging the guard rail that kept us from going over. Then she stood in front and this time guided both left tires into the track. She jumped in, Guy eased to the code machine, paid another nine dollars and the track moved us to the entrance. Nothing happened. We waited, edged up a little further and nothing happened. "This is ridiculous," Guy said and drove on through and back to the gas station for help. SUV in rainbow of soap was funny, but for us, not a time Comic Relief Imagine a SUV covered in a rainbow of soap and that would be how we looked to those pulling up for gas. A man in a black leather jacket stood at the door and stared as Guy got out. "If I had a hose," he laughed, "I'd hose you down." This was not a time for Comic Relief. In a few minutes Guy, the manager, and the guy in the leather jacket came out of the store. Guy got back in the SUV while the other men walked to the car wash. Evidently, when we hit the side of the soap machine, we tripped the breaker. After the manager reset the machine, we paid another nine dollars, plugged in the code and the track took us through ever so smoothly. This time, however, I did not lay my head back and relax. Finally, with his help, the suds went down the drain and we left with a relatively clean vehicle and eighteen dollars worth of attempts and another story. Carol Perkins, the writer of this popular CM Column, is an author, owner and operator of Main Street Screenprinting, 601 S. Main Street, Edmonton, KY, Phones 270-432-3152 and 270-670-4913 and is co-host of Susan (Susan Shirley Chambers) & Carol (Carol Sullivan Perkins) on 99.1 The Hoss, regularly live at 10amCT, each Tuesday. Watch CM Events for topics/guests on the show. This story was posted on 2015-02-15 13:38:46
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