Printed from:

Welcome to Columbia Magazine  

Carol Perkins: Where are My Glasses?

It's a problem lots of folks over 50 have: Mashing the right buttons on the fiendishly complicated microwaves. For Guy Perkins of Edmonton, KY, a stay in a luxury hotel in Birmingham, running the microwave for his nightly fix of popcorn, without glasses, was futile, yielding no popcorn - but, as one would suspect, a great Carol Perkins column on his way home, with twist.
Click on headline for complete column. Click on topic: Carol Perkins, for previous columns by he author and find links to recent columns, including "MCHSClas of 1964 Reunion."

By Carol Perkins

Guy travels with his job so he most often will use Priceline for finding good deals on lodging. Most of the time he will end up in a Holiday Inn Express or an equivalent, but this time was a huge surprise. He would be staying at the Renaissance Resort at Ross Bridge in Birmingham.

This just happens to be a famous course where the Champion Tour is played. Since he is a golfer, he was impressed to be right there where the seniors played. The area was also surrounded with shopping places in what was called The Village. I could see myself strolling from shop to shop. Instead, I was home watching a Hallmark movie.

Guy has a story to tell on his return home

When he came home he had a story to tell. He really didn’t want to tell me but it was just too good to keep. It is so good I need to share with you.

He had dined in a rather nice restaurant and returned to his room to watch TV. This is a typical night for Guy whether at home or on the road. Not the fine dining but the routine. His room was more like a small apartment. A refrigerator and sitting area and a kitchen area for the home away from home experience were more than he needed but once in awhile it is nice to be surrounded in luxury.

At nine o'clock it was time to indulge in his popcorn habit

Around nine o’clock he is in the habit of having popcorn. He looked around but didn’t find any complimentary popcorn (I would assume the hotel management did not want the smell of popcorn wafting through the halls of their fine hotel) but that didn’t occur to Guy. What did occur to him was that he had saved a bag of microwave popcorn from another hotel at another time, so he happily retrieved it.

Found no 'popcorn' button

The microwave, according to Guy, was located above the refrigerator as many of them are in other hotels. He opened the door and put the bag inside but noticed that there was no “popcorn” button like we have at home on our microwave. “Around three minutes should do it,” he thought, so he pushed the three and two zeros. Then he looked for the start button but couldn’t find it.

“I knew I better get my glasses at this point if I wanted to see how to operate this thing,” he said, building up to the climax of the story. I was clueless where this was headed.

It wasn't a microwave at all

“I put on my glasses and went back to what I thought was the microwave but soon realized this wasn’t a microwave at all.”

Guy had tried to pop his popcorn in the room safe.

Carol Perkins, the writer of this popular CM Column, is an author, owner and operator of Main Street Screenprinting, 601 S. Main Street, Edmonton, KY, Phones 270-432-3152 and 270-670-4913 and is co-host of Susan (Susan Shirley Chambers) & Carol (Carol Sullivan Perkins) on 99.1 The Hoss, regularly live at 10amCT, each Tuesday. Watch CM Events for topics/guests on the show.

This story was posted on 2014-12-21 07:40:15
Printable: this page is now automatically formatted for printing.
Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know.

To sponsor news and features on ColumbiaMagazine, please use our contact form.


Quick Links to Popular Features content is available as an RSS/XML feed for your RSS reader or other news aggregator.
Use the following link:

Contact us: Columbia Magazine and are published by D'Zine, Ltd., PO Box 906, Columbia, KY 42728.
Phone: 270-250-2730 Fax: 270-751-0401

Please use our contact page, or send questions about technical issues with this site to All logos and trademarks used on this site are property of their respective owners. All comments remain the property and responsibility of their posters, all articles and photos remain the property of their creators, and all the rest is copyright 1995-Present by Columbia! Magazine and D'Zine, Ltd. Privacy policy: use of this site requires no sharing of information. Voluntarily shared information may be published and made available to the public on this site and/or stored electronically. Anonymous submissions will be subject to additional verification. Cookies are not required to use our site. However, if you have cookies enabled in your web browser, some of our advertisers may use cookies for interest-based advertising across multiple domains. For more information about third-party advertising, visit the NAI web privacy site.