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Chuck Hinman: IJMA. The Grocery Cart Story

Chuck Hinman: The Grocery Cart Story A disagreement over possession of a grocery cart leads to a need for Chuck - who thinks he is never wrong - to apologize.
Next earlier Chuck Hinman column - Funniest Weddings

By Chuck Hinman

The Grocery Cart Story

My memory time as I sat in my recliner took me to a time twenty some years ago. It paints a picture of me I'd like to forget.

It was a disagreement I had over possession of a grocery cart in Randall's grocery store.


In this disagreement the other person was a woman about my age. I don't remember what she looked like except she had a loud mouth, a characteristic I detest, especially in a woman. I guess I had been spoiled married to a jewel like Connie.

Chuck does the grocery shopping

I was retired and we were still living in Houston. Connie had arthritis and I did the grocery shopping in those days with her grocery list.

As always I started in the produce section, had made several selections, and had placed them in my cart. When I was about to add another, I wondered what that purse was doing in my cart. About that time a lady bearing some bananas came along side the cart and there was some small talk between us over whose cart it was. I handed her purse to her and proceeded out of the produce section with my cart. I can still remember the wild look on her face as she protested loudly "that's my cart!" No one, including me paid any attention to her. I remember feeling lucky I wasn't married to her! Large mouths are OK on bass (fish) but a birth defect especially on some women. Add to that a Texas drawl and there may have been grounds for an abortion. Shiver!

Produce items not on Chuck's list

As I continued shopping I noticed several items of produce in my cart that I assumed were put there by "Big Mouth." I hadn't decided what to do with them when I saw "her" coming toward me in the canned goods department. She really looked quite nice with her mouth shut. She was obviously giving me the cold shoulder as I gathered up the three produce items and asked where she wanted me to put them. In a biggety voice she said she had already replaced them and for me to (profanity)! You know how Texans talk funny.

Well I had had my fill of her and decided to do what Jesus would do (like we Baptists are taught), take her produce back to the produce section and leave it. Yssh -- Philistine! I felt so pious and good!

The unclaimed grocery cart

The produce section was completely void of shoppers and I thought it strange there was this grocery cart sitting there with a few items but no one claiming it. When I looked closer there was a grocery list in Connie's handwriting! Then it hit me like a ton of Texas brick!

I was still in shock when I was telling Connie what I had done. Then she said "Well, did you look for that lady and apologize?"

You think you are never wrong

When I said a sheepish "No," she added in a scolding tone "Well, that's just like you! You never think you are wrong!"

See why I would like to forget that memory?

Written by Chuck Hinman. Emailed Friday, 11 June 2010.



This story was posted on 2013-05-12 04:56:02
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