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Teresa Bell Kindred: Wings

By Teresa Bell Kindred

I married a Michigan boy so I know who the Red Wings are. If you want to be a pilot you have to earn your wings. I've eaten wings from Pizza Hut. I've heard the expression "a wing and a prayer." I've read about angel wings in the Bible, but until last week I had never heard of bingo wings.

I was talking to my five year old granddaughter when she suddenly grabbed the soft (okay, flabby) underneath part of my arm and informed me I had "bingo wings."

I asked her where she had heard that term. "I don't know," she said and ran off to play.

I decided to do some in-depth research (Google) and this is what I found:

Wikipedia said

The anthropometry of the upper arm is a set of measurements of the shape of the upper arms. Large, saggy flaps of skin under the arm are colloquially known as bingo wings,[1] after the phrase was popularised by the comedy television program Bo' Selecta!.[2]edia-

Urban Dictionary said

bingo wingLoose, flabby upper-arm flesh of (usually) fat women in cap-sleeved rayon blouses who attend bingo halls. Bingo wing development can be accelerated by consuming vast quantities of C.Cola and burgers. See also bingo flaps

Used in a sentence....

Check the bingo wing on that! If she flapped those arms, she'd take off!

Doesn't sound too good, does it?

Now I felt even worse. I thought back to my grade school years and all the teachers I had whose skin wiggled and jiggled when they wrote on the board. Lucky women, They never knew they had bingo wings. They existed before Google, YouTube, Wikipedia, or Urban Dictionary. There are no "bingo wings" in Webster's Dictionary.

While doing my "wing research" I also learned that famous people can have famous wings. According to a British publication Madonna works out six days a week but when she waved to her fans her wings were showing. The article said, "Dressed in a sleeveless leopard print Dolce and Gabbana number for an evening with boyfriend Jesus Luz and designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana, the flapping undercarriage of her arms was on show for all to see."

Flapping undercarriage? Eeeek!

Every woman (even Madonna) will eventually have to fight gravity. Basically we have two choices. We can wear long sleeves or exercise.

If you opt for the latter, here's one that you can try at home. As for me, I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do, but I do know this. Bingo wings don't hinder me from hugging my fact, they may even help. Teresa Bell Kindred

This story was posted on 2011-06-26 08:00:52
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