Printed from:

Welcome to Columbia Magazine  

Great Wooded South Lexicon X: Travel perils

Travel for erudite Kentuckians can be stressful when venturing among the unwashed, linguistically challenged, as Bradfordsvillians found when they ventured into far off Minnesota (more properly mumbled Minnansoda) and couldn't even get the answer to the most important question about breakfast.
Next earlier GWS Lexicon: Great Wooded South Lexicon IX: Bible says Words hold power of life and death

By Billy Joe Fudge, Retired Forester
Kentucky Division of Forestry

Hopefully the Great Wooded South Lexicon can not only help those from off who have graced our shores, so to speak, but also can be of assistance for all of our own citizens traveling abroad in this great nation and thus help to avoid situations such as the following.

A friend of mine in Bradfordsville, located in Eastern Marion County right in the middle of the Muldraugh Knobs which is on the northern fringe of the Great Wooded South, relayed a story about a gentleman who rode shotgun for a man hauling cattle to the far off land of Minnesota.

This old gentleman inadvertently caused a scene just trying to ask a really nice waitress if the gravy was any count.

The waitress kept telling him how many biscuits and how many halves there would be with his order. The old gentleman understood that he might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but he certainly knew that when you halve two biscuits you end up with four halves.

Fortunately, the truck driver acted as an interpreter in order to keep a lid on the situation.
  • Figger: to perform mathematical computations, to deliberately and seriously consider, and the female body shape

  • Figgers: numbers

  • Purddy: good looking, attractive, or in its adjective form, exceptionally

  • Purt nurt: close, near, or almost

  • Count: good or consequence
More local, language, lexicon enlighteners forthcoming as the need comes to our attention and I am thankful for all the help from CM readers and contributors. I am inspired and enlightened daily by CM and all those who make it such a special gathering place. - Billy Joe Fudge

This story was posted on 2011-06-12 05:39:36
Printable: this page is now automatically formatted for printing.
Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know.

To sponsor news and features on ColumbiaMagazine, please use our contact form.

When you know you are Adair Countian

2011-06-12 - Shelbyville, KY - Photo by Linda Waggener.
Salvation on Big Creek, linguistically speaking: Adair Countian Mary Keltner remembers exactly when she realized for sure, she was finally an Adair Countian, through and through. "I was talking with Jim (James Howard Keltner)," she said, and I asked him, "Are the po-leece going to do anything about it?" and a little later it came to her what had just happened, and adds, "I knew right then I belonged in Gradyville." In her native Chicago, they say, "puh-lees," the way it's generally mismumbled by national Tv anchors, even Diane Sawyer, who's just two generations out of Metcalfe County, and oughta knowed better.

Read More... | Comments? | Click here to share, print, or bookmark this photo.


Quick Links to Popular Features content is available as an RSS/XML feed for your RSS reader or other news aggregator.
Use the following link:

Contact us: Columbia Magazine and are published by D'Zine, Ltd., PO Box 906, Columbia, KY 42728.
Phone: 270-250-2730 Fax: 270-751-0401

Please use our contact page, or send questions about technical issues with this site to All logos and trademarks used on this site are property of their respective owners. All comments remain the property and responsibility of their posters, all articles and photos remain the property of their creators, and all the rest is copyright 1995-Present by Columbia! Magazine and D'Zine, Ltd. Privacy policy: use of this site requires no sharing of information. Voluntarily shared information may be published and made available to the public on this site and/or stored electronically. Anonymous submissions will be subject to additional verification. Cookies are not required to use our site. However, if you have cookies enabled in your web browser, some of our advertisers may use cookies for interest-based advertising across multiple domains. For more information about third-party advertising, visit the NAI web privacy site.