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Countian shocked by how Adair County living ages one Comments steered up by Jones Street water line post mortem examination photo of a former Ononian as a Gildersleeve. With talking at random thoughts on perils of prettiest women poaching A Russell Countian, an ex pat whose identify could not be revealed even if Terrell Wilson were still the Highest Court in the Land and ordered it done under penalty of an Ohio stay-away, wrote a comment on the picture in CM of Rudy Higginbotham, who has the appearance of a teenager to most normally aging people in Adair County. The Countian says, "Lordy, that boy has aged 39 years since I laid eyes on him twoscore years ago." He says this would never have happened had Higginbotham been allowed to stay in Ono, within the bounds of the mystical Sacred Triangle,where the young never age and the aged never get older. But alas, life giveth and life taketh away. Contrary to the notion that Higginbotham is on a stay-away from The County for a high school prank, the more obvious truth may be that other Russell County boys don't like it when one marries up with the prettiest girl, and that's the reason he took flight to Adair County, where he has averaged real good, nigh deserving of that prettiest girl. One would have thought that with plentitude of prettiest girls dwelling in The County, it wouldn't of been such risky business picking one off. After all, somewhere in the Bible wasn't there something about such a thing, some folks wanting the Iraelites to: Make marriages with us; give your daughters to us, and take our daughters for yourselves. You shall dwell with us; and the land shall be open to you -???. 'Twarn't so. Just as the Israelis of that day were more like they are today, the Alpha Countian males didn't take too kindly to poaching. It was risky business indeed, but apparently worth it for those who got away with it and married above themselves, with a prettiest Russell County girl, like the famous Jimmy F. Harper and a few notable have done, and gotten away with it - certainly without the terrible Biblical consequences of Jacob's day. Who knows when the practice started? With Ivan Shively and the beautiful Marian Dee Holt? Whenever, if there were a metric for such stuff, mixed marriages between Adair Countians and Prettiest Russell County women has certainly improved the gene pool in Columbia and raised the IQ level rather markedly. It is, of course, a question for the ages, and a wonderment: Where is Henry Louis Gates, in light of the world-wide magnitude of this burning question? Our phone rings off the hook lots of times with inquiring minds wanting to know the answer to that, to understate the case. In any case, a lesson I've learned, having married a Prettiest Woman From Off, is that indeed, hybrid vigor is a benefit of such unions. And you even learn to live with the Dark Side of the stolen spouse, even after learning that they come from a line which only puts Mayonnaise on one slice of the sandwich, and even, 40 years late, that she comes from a fierce line of combatants, and is, her Mom revealed, a descendant of Vikings, not from just gentle English, Sulphur Well, and Bellview folk as I had led myself to believe. But I digress. Truth be known, Ono may be as almost as far From Off to Alphas in Jamestown and The Sprangs as is Ozark and Columbia. Risky business, stealing Russell County prettiest women. And it may be why, in 40 years, Rudy Higginbotham looks to have aged 39, living away, as he has, from the land of Eternal Youth. -Ed Waggener This story was posted on 2011-04-16 04:09:56
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