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Carol Perkins: School Bullies I This Carol Perkins commentary is timely advice for parents at the start of school. Her advice to parents whose children are victims of bullying is to the point: Get them out of the situation, get Stomping Mad, and start being Active The next earlier Carol Perkins column is Parasailing By Carol Perkins They are called the "mean girls." Every school has them, and they wield their authority in and out of the classroom. Perhaps there are a few teachers who do not fear them or are not intimidated by them, but most had rather not push their buttons. This is particularly true, I suspect, with young teachers. Mean girls start early, like weeds in flowerbed The mentality of a mean girl does not begin in high school. If a study were conducted (and probably has been), I think we would find that mean girls cultivate early, like weeds in a flowerbed. "You can't play with us," may seem innocent childhood behavior, but it is not so innocent to the child who is shunned. As the little girls run off together, holding hands and leaving behind the one who yearns to be with them, the seeds of future bullies are planted. Ask any pre-school teacher if she can point out the potential bad girls and she will, with great accuracy, be on the mark. Little ones don't know how to fight back at school, so they act out at home. Girls usually cry and whine; little boys fight or retreat to their rooms alone. That is a sign that something is amiss. In middle school, they sometimes try to fight back. The bullied may resort to desperate measures One time a boy was caught with a knife that he had brought to ward off bullies on the school bus. "Wait until I get you on the bus," he had heard, day after day. Thank goodness the knife was discovered before it was too late. A few years after I left the middle school, I saw a mother of a former student and asked about her daughter, who would have been in high school. "I had to pull her out and home school her. There was this gang of girls who wouldn't leave her alone." What a pity a person can't go to school in peace. When I read about the suicide of the latest victim of bullying, I was stomping mad. "When will this stop!" One girl and seven bullies. Where were the adults? Pheobe Prince had the nerve to date one of the star football players, distressing a group of girls who "owned" the right to those guys. What a typical act of jealously. This type of torment takes place quite inconspicuously in our own schools, and many officials never know until the problems escalate. The mean girls might start by leaving unsigned notes in a girl's locker, stealing her gym clothes, taking her books, starting bad rumors, or refusing to speak to her or sit with her. Like a cancer, the sorrow and anxiety spreads. Fighting a group is futile. Some adults still tormented by memories of bullying I know adults who are still tormented by memories of being bullied. Most of them would like to go back and see their bullies one more time. "If I were like I am now, no one would have bothered me." If adults are still thinking of those who badgered them, then the damage was more than just a teenage "thing." I have always been very passionate against bullying and lectured to my students so often that one student finally asked, "Ms. Perkins, were you ever bullied? Is that why it makes you so upset?" No, I was never bullied, but teaching has given me a front row seat to what bullies can do to destroy their peers, and I hate what I have seen. That is the reason I say to parents.... REMOVE YOUR CHILD from a school where she (or he) is being bullied. Don't wait. Until schools set in stone a "NO TOLERANCE" policy and mean what they say by the actions they take, I would not wait for the system to help solve the problem. Bullies are hard to stop once they are out of the nest. I would start, however, by swatting them one at a time.Get Stomping Mad and Start Being Active! Don't wait for your child to "work out" their problems. Pheobe Prince did not have to die. This story was posted on 2010-08-08 05:27:24
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Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know. More articles from topic Carol Perkins:
Carol Perkins: Parasailing Carol Perkins: London Carol Perkins: Hoosier hospitality in outlet mall Carol Perkins: The Hitching Post Carol Perkins: Who is watching your children? Carol Perkins: Feeling Like Myself Carol Perkins: Churches Carol Perkins: Missing Mother Carol Perkins: The new washing machine Carol Perkins: Let's Talk About...Flour Sack Dresses View even more articles in topic Carol Perkins |
 
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