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Carol Perkins: Churches

'...money," the writer says, 'this has split more churches than religious differences ever will.
Next previous Carol Perkins column: Missing Mother

By Carol Perkins

Have you ever wondered why there are more Americans who don't attend church than do? Could it be that we churchgoers give religion a bad name? If a stranger sat on a cloud and hovered over a congregation - any congregation - for a month, what would he witness?

First of all, he might feel tension. A church, of all places, is supposed to be free of strife, yet it is often the cause of much. I have, and so have you, participated in endless discussions over problems with simple solutions. How many committee meetings does it take to decide who is in charge of restocking the paper cups in the pantry? Who was in charge of mopping the kitchen floor the last time it was used? Silly? Of course it is.



Many church memberships have split over non-spiritual situations

Many church memberships have split over non-spiritual situations. The man in the cloud might hear a conversation about carpet, which can be a bone of contention. Some think the old carpet is good enough; some think new carpet would make the church look better. Once the decision is made to purchase carpet, yet another committee is formed to choose the color, the style, and the supplier. Here comes trouble.

Who is chosen for this very important committee? Those who are very important, of course. I would assume volunteers are allowed, but I also doubt that just ANYBODY would be welcomed. After all, some have better taste than others, wouldn't you think?

After the carpet is laid, the committee waits to hear comments. Some jeer while others cheer. The jeers always stick in the throat more than the cheers. By the time the carpet saga has ended, a few people are probably not speaking. Feelings are hurt over being excluded from important decisions like carpet.

Being assigned to committees is very important

Being assigned to committees is also very important to most church members, notices the man riding the cloud. In some churches there is a hierarchy, and one committee may be more important than another. Those that deal with money are very important, while those that deal with painting and repairing and replacing light bulbs are down the list. Important people are on important committees.

Speaking of money, this has split more churches than religious differences ever will. Not enough of it...need more...pass the plate three times this Sunday. Whew, sometimes church members pass the plate more than they pass the bread.

After the money is collected, the next question remains: What to do with it? There are those who like watching it grow, and there are those who believe in spending it. There are those who think it is theirs, and there are those who think it is the Lord's. Most churches don't accumulate enough to fight over, but many churches' coffers are full. A rich church may not be any different than the rich man, and you know that verse.

Inside the walls are pews. The man on the cloud better not attempt to sit in one because it might not be his. Did you realize that certain people own certain seats? Try sitting in the wrong place and you might quickly find out.

There may be a division about music, too

The man senses a division about music, too. Some want to sing from one book while others prefer a different one. Some want to sing several songs while others don't like music at all. Some want to bring in guitars while others can't "stand that loud noise." Try working with a choir!

The man on the cloud notices that some church people get miffed over things like flower arrangements not matching the color scheme of the church, over announcements inadvertently omitted from the bulletin, over who brings food to potlucks and who shows up to eat, bringing nothing. They criticize loud children, typos in the bulletin, and point out the preacher wasn't in his office but two days last week.

A minister from another community told of two pianists having an argument right in church over which one was going to play the next Sunday, and of two women who brought the same dish: one was eaten and the other wasn't. In his words, "Sparks Flew!"

The man on the clouds drifts away and sighs.
(email Carol at cperkins@scrtc.com. Her book, Let's Talk About, is available at Ivy Bookstore, 402 Rogers RD, Glasgow, KY)


This story was posted on 2010-06-20 07:25:33
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