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Rev. Joey N. Welsh: Pointing Fingers

Another Angle. We are safe now, aren't we? Pointing fingers at threats to marriage and family was first published 12 June 2006 in the Hart County News-Herald
To see other articles by this author, enter "Rev. Joey N. Welsh," or "Another Angle," in the searchbox. The next earlier essay posted on ColumbiaMagazine.com is Keen eyes, striking images, Part 2: George Hurrell, Kentucky photographer

By The Rev. Joey N. Welsh

Kentucky was one of nearly a dozen states to pass a constitutional marriage amendment last November. All of those states now have some version of law stipulating that marriage is to be defined as a union between one man and one woman.



This action was ignited by a decision of the Supreme Judicial Court of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that overturned its state's restrictions against same-sex marriage as well as by a move to grant such marriages in San Francisco. It was fueled by the wish of some people to keep the fires of indignation stoked at least through the November election. Now, I trust, Kentucky will be a land of traditional marriage and family life. We are safe now, aren't we?

During the past fall there were many people who pointed fingers at the judges and same-sex couples in Massachusetts and elsewhere as the major threats in our society arrayed against marriage and family. Now that the shouting is over and the election is history, how safe and healthy are our marriages and families in Kentucky? Was the remote chance of same-sex marriage in Kentucky really a primary threat to marriage and family here?

I remember that when I was a child Grandma would caution me against pointing fingers at other people when she said, "Look! Whenever you point that one finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you." I also remember reading the old comic strip, Pogo, in which the title character declared, "We have met the enemy, and he is us." I have come to believe that both Grandma and Pogo were wisely correct. I am confident that most threats to marriage and family in Kentucky are home-grown and did not originate in Massachusetts or San Francisco.

During my ministry I have encountered many families in crisis and many crumbling marriages. I cannot think of even one time when those problems were caused by one member of the couple wanting to run off to be part of a same-sex union. I have, however, encountered many threats to marriage and family caused by:
  • Very young, immature and often unwed parents who do not have the financial, emotional, and spiritual foundation to raise children in a healthy way
  • Parents who spend their money on tobacco, liquor, substance abuse, and lottery tickets rather than on their children
  • Husbands who abuse their wives and abuse or terrorize their children
  • Husbands and wives who are unfaithful to their marriage vows and to one another
  • Husbands and wives who start out in marriage thinking of it as a casual and temporary relationship (I once overheard a woman complaining that she didn't approve of her future son-in-law; she then said that she believed the young man would be okay as a starter husband for her daughter. Goodness gracious Gussie -- what have we come to?)
  • Deadbeat parents who fail to live up to their responsibilities after divorce, forcing their former families to search community clothes closets and food pantries for necessities
  • Parents who leave their young children unsupervised for hours at a time, who never read to them or ask about their homework, allowing them to watch hours of television every day where they learn their values and social skills from the guests on Jerry Springer and the like.
Now that the Marriage Amendment is passed and we are free of the presumed outside threat of same-sex marriage, when are we going to deal with the even greater debilities found inside our existing marriages and families? When shall we seek healing from those spiritual illnesses? If we believe we have finished our work and that Kentucky is safe for marriage and families now, then may the Lord forgive us of our ignorance and help us all.
E-mail: joey_n_welsh@hotmail.com


This story was posted on 2010-04-11 10:22:24
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