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Chuck Hinman, IJMA No. 329: Aging gracefully The term, "aging gracefully," is an oxymoron, Chuck Hinman says, citing a humorous story about two men trying to have a conversation across a thick hedge. The next earlier Chuck Hinman story: First Impressions Is Chuck Hinman your favorite Sunday with CM columnist? As one highly respected critic told me yesterday. If so, we hope you'll drop him a line by email. Reader comments to CM are appreciated, as are emails directly to Mr. Hinman at: charles.hinman@sbcglobal.net By Chuck Hinman Aging gracefully All my life, I have heard the expression "aging gracefully" and I assumed it would be something that would fall in place naturally and comfortably when I became old. This is not the case. "Aging gracefully" is an oxymoron. What is graceful about an old geezer yelling "whaaat!" "Nothing" is the correct answer. My hearing is failing rapidly and I am having a terrible time "not hearing in a graceful manner." It's impossible! For example before I moved to Tallgrass Estates and while Connie was still living, our backyard had lots of trees and a hedge so that we had a great deal of privacy from all our neighbors - so much that I never saw or knew some of them. One day I was doing something in the back yard and I became aware that my neighbor was working not more than fifteen feet away but shielded from my view by a dense hedge. We were trying to make conversation - when I asked him what kind of a tree that was in his yard that I could easily see above the hedge. He replied "It is a Black and Decker." Really? A Black and Decker tree? I couldn't believe my ears that there was such a tree but I wouldn't have been surprised. So politely, I replied that "I had never heard of a Black and Decker tree." His wife was near enough to hear. She cleared up the whole dumb direction of the conversation when she said "Oh, you two deaf old men, you are talking about our tree and he is trying to tell you about his electric trimming shears!" MORAL - there is nothing graceful about two old men trying to carry on a conversation separated by a thick hedge! Nothing at all. In fact it is sad! And that's not all. On Saturday night we had a beautiful Valentine's Day banquet at church. There was a program where a lady was talking. Apparently it was humorous because the audience frequently burst into laughter and applause. For fifty long minutes, I can't believe that I "gracefully" sat through that, even laughing and applauding with everyone else as though I heard everything. I was even in line after the program to lie and complimented the speaker, on what a delightful evening it had been. Suddenly, my better judgment prevailed and I slipped out the door and came home vowing to never go to something like that again. It was not "graceful" -=- it was pure agony! After much soul-searching, I have concluded that even though I may never age gracefully, I will at least write about it in a light-hearted way, smiling with tears in my eyes -- an oxymoronic response to an oxymoronic situation. What did you say? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you said something. See what I mean? This story was posted on 2010-03-07 04:50:35
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Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know. More articles from topic Chuck Hinman - Reminiscences:
Chuck Hinman, IJMA No. 334: First Impressions Chuck Hinman: IJMA No. 076, Hopelessly Trapped Chuck Hinman: IJMA No. 188, My Legacy Chuck Hinman: IJMA No. 186, Thou Shalt Not Chuck Hinman: IJMA #365, My Hero Chuck Hinman IJMA 360 : Waiting in the doctor's office Chuck Hinman IJMA 317 : Ice Cream, Ice Cream Chuck Hinman. IJMA No. 185: Predicament in Tulsa Chuck Hinman: IJMA No. 117: Winter Is Coming Chuck Hinman, IJMA No. 020: A work of Art View even more articles in topic Chuck Hinman - Reminiscences |
 
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