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A kindred Spirit: Learning about less of me from my children A beautiful story about the returns from being selfless in concern for others. Click on headline for full story + photo The next earlier column by Teresa Kindred: A Kindred Spirit: It's cold outside By Teresa Bell Kindred Nanahood.com This month I'm doing my best to focus on the needs of others, to do as the song by Glenn Campbell says "Think a little more of others and a little less of me." All month long at NanaHood (my online blog) I'm writing posts about folks who do things for others. What follows is a story about my daughter. I have told this story before so please forgive me if you have heard it, but I just had to share it again in honor of "Less of Me Month." My daughter's name is Rachel and when she was in high school she played on the volleyball team. It was a small school and there weren't a a lot of players so most of the girls got equal playing time: all but one. I really never knew why the coach didn't play this girl. In my opinion she was as good as the rest of the girls and on some nights she played better, but if you have had children involved in sports you know that sometimes (okay a lot of times) parents don't see things the way coaches do. A lesson learned by Nana on Senior Night Rachel was a good volleyball player. We knew she wasn't destined to play after college but that was okay. She enjoyed being part of the team and we enjoyed watching her. One of the last games of her senior year was Senior Night and all the girls parents were there. My elderly grandmother even made it to the game to watch her great granddaughter play, but to our surprise she didn't play. The first half of the game passed, no Rachel. By the time the game was almost over I had steam coming out of my ears. It was all I could do to control myself at the end of the game. How dare that coach not play my daughter on Senior Night! I was livid. When I got home I sat down on the couch to wait for my daughter to console her. She came in, took one look at me and asked what was wrong. "What do you mean what is wrong! You didn't get to play and it was Senior Night!" "I know," she said. My mouth fell open. She wasn't upset. "I told the coach to play Susan (the girl who never played). Her parents were there and she hardly ever gets to play. " My heart literally melted from such a rush of emotions: shame for my evil thoughts about the coach and love and pride for the fine young woman my daughter had become. That incident happened years ago. Rachel is married now and lives in a nearby city. We talk daily and she's a loyal NanaHood reader. Recently we were talking about Less of Me Month. "All those women make me feel so inadequate," she said. "They do so much for others." Making sure each kid had a Christmas stocking Rachel is a sixth grade teacher. I've seen the way her students relate to her. At Christmas she and her husband coordinated a gift giving project with his business where each child received a large stocking full of gifts and treats. For some of them it was the only Christmas gift they received. She made pictures of them with their stockings and taught them how to and about the importance of writing thank you notes. There were rewards for adopting Bessie Rachel and her husband live in a busy neighborhood near a college campus. Down the street from them is a resident who has been there since time began (well maybe not that long). Her name is Bessie. She doesn't drive any more but the lady can walk. During warm weather (and sometimes cold weather) I often see her out pushing her walker up and down the streets. She knows everything about everyone and isn't afraid to give you her opinion about anything. Rachel and Gabe (my son-in-law) have adopted Bessie. They take her to the grocery and the Dollar Store. They take her food and out for ice cream. Gabe changes her light bulbs for her and Rachel calls her often just to check on her. The morning of the day Rachel told me she felt inadequate when it came to doing for others she had been to take Bessie to the Dollar Store. When I reminded Rachel about Bessie she said, "Yes, but that's really not anything. I love helping Bessie." Is there more we can do...always, but that doesn't mean we should overlook the small things we do for others. They matter. Just ask Bessie. About the author: Teresa Bell Kindred lives in Edmonton, Kentucky with her family. She is the author of several books including Mom:PHD: Leadership Skills for Moms. She is a public speaker and has spoken to several different women's groups in Columbia and Adair County. For 13 years she was a magazine columnist for Kentucky Living magazine. Presently she is a grant writer for Metcalfe County Schools and is working on another book. Visit her online at Teresa Bell Kindred...A Kindred Spirit to read more about her, purchase her books, or invite her to speak to your club or organization. Email her directly at tbellkindred@scrtc.com Nanahood, "An online community for grandmothers and moms" This story was posted on 2010-01-17 07:06:52
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