Carol Perkins: The Name is Perkins

To appease Carol Perkins fan, and because this funny story has Father's Day appeal, and because it fits in so nicely with the ColumbiaMagazine.com crusade for Address Markers, it is being posted early this morning, to read before church. It will be worth reading again and again. -EW

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To read her next previous story click on The Gift of Music about her father, and Lonzo & Oscar, and the fabulously talented Sullivan and Acree families

By Carol Perkins

"Somebody's Knocking"

One Friday night Guy and I went to Louisville for no particular reason. Actually, my birthday was the next day, so I guess that was reason enough for an overnight trip.

Saturday morning Guy, who is more alert in the mornings than I, announced that he was going to the lobby for coffee and would bring back an assortment of goodies from the continental breakfast. I liked that idea because it gave me time to shower and dress with him out of my way.


Guy went down to the lobby and filled a tray with coffee, a bowl of cereal swimming in milk, and an assortment of fruits and pastries. In other words, his tray was loaded.

The key wouldn't work

When he came back to the room, he put the key in the slot but the door would not open. While holding the tray with one hand, he tried and tried the key with the other, but it wouldn't work. He knocked on the door. Nothing. He then knocked louder. Nothing. As a last resort, he banged on the door so loudly that the guy across the hall opened his door to see what was wrong.

"Sir, can I help you?"

"My wife must still be in the shower. She can't hear anything and my key won't work."

"Would you like me to call the room for you?"

"No, that's okay. Surely she'll hear me in a minute." Why not?

Everyone else had probably heard him.

The stranger closed his door. Guy tried the key again, but again, it wouldn't work. He knocked on the door again, a little louder each time.

This time the door beside the room opened and an elderly lady peeped out.

"Sir, is there anything I can do for you?"

My wife is half deaf, Guy said

"My wife is half deaf or she could surely hear me. She may still be in the shower and this key won't work."

"Can I call your room for you?" By then she had stepped into the hallway and by this time Guy was willing. She turned to her husband who was in the room and yelled, "Harold, call room 320."

"Why?"

"Just do it," she said and then turned back to Guy. "He can't hear anything either."

Harold dialed. "I can't believe she can't hear that phone. I can hear it ringing from out here. I've been telling her for years she can't hear, and now this proves it. I guess I'll have to go back downstairs and get another key."

"I'll be glad to hold your tray for you until you get back if you would like for me too."

"I appreciate it, but I'll just take it with me. Thanks for trying to help."Down the elevator he rode and marched up the hall to the front desk, key in hand. He laid it in front of the girl.

"This key won't work. We had two keys and the other one worked, but I picked up the one that evidently doesn't work. I've beat on the door but my wife must still be in the shower. She can't hear anything. I've been telling her and she doesn't believe me. Can you give me a key for 320? The name's Perkins."

Clerk sensed boiling point was nearing

She sensed his boiling point was nearing as she typed the information into the computer. I would have relished seeing what happened next.

She looked at her screen for a minute, staring at the information, and ever so hesitantly looked up at him and said timidly, "220."

In the meantime, I had long finished getting ready. "He must be eating downstairs," I thought since he had been gone at least thirty minutes.

Finally, he came in with my lukewarm coffee.

"Where have you been?"

He sat the tray down on the table and rubbed his right knuckles with his left hand. "I wasn't going to tell you this, but this one is too good to keep. You see......."

Soon afterward, Guy rushed me through the lobby and quickly laid the key on the front desk, glad the girl wasn't around and hoping that the man across the hall and the elderly woman and Harold would not be anywhere in sight either.

They weren't, but the girl at the desk stepped out as we reached entrance and said, "Have a good day."

Guy just kept walking

He smiled and kept walking.

He probably should have gone back upstairs and told those who had tried to help him the mistake he had made. Of course, in order to do that would be admitting a mistake.

Most men aren't good at admitting mistakes, are they?

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About the author: Carol (Sullivan) Perkins is a lifelong resident of Edmonton, KY, in Metcalfe County where she taught high school English at Metcalfe County High School until her recent retirement. She is a now a freelance writer. is married to Guy Perkins and they have two children: Carla Green (Mark) of Brentwood, TN and Jon Perkins (Beth) of Austin, TX and six grandchildren. Her latest book, Let's Talk About, is a collection of over 70 of her works, and she is presently working on the second book in this series. Carol's ties to Adair County go back to Breeding where her grandfather, Rufus Reece, and her grandmother Bettie Strange, began their married life and later moved to Metcalfe County. You may contact Carol at cperkins@scrtc.com or write at P.O. Box 134 Edmonton. If you would like a copy of her book, you can order through email. Watch for her next story next Sunday.

IF YOU'VE ENJOYED READING CAROL PERKINS' STORIES on ColumbiaMagazine.com, you'll love her book, "Let's Talk About It. . . ." The books are $15 plus $4 for shipping. Send check or cash or money order to Carol Perkins, P.O. Box 134, Edmonton, KY 42129 They can be bought at the Herald Office in Edmonton, KY, or Terri's Fine Jewelry in Glasgow, KY.

This story was posted on 2009-06-21 06:17:11