Carol Perkins: Mother's Day and Pity Parties

Mother's Day: 'When Guy and I go out to eat on Mother's Day and I see adult children taking their mother out to eat, I want to go over and eat with them. Instead, I sit over my pizza and listen to the laughter surrounding me and go home to an empty house with Fluffy nipping at my heels,' Carol Perkins writes on this joyous day for homage to mommas.

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To read her next previous story click on I Couldn't Sleep at All Last Night

By Carol Perkins

Mother's Day and Pity Parties

I will confess. You will find this very unbecoming of me and I am truly sorry, but I must get this off my chest. I know I am not alone in this hostility, so I am speaking for those who feel as I do. Here goes; I'm going to say it. I absolutely loathe Mother's Day. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I feel guilty for saying this because I am grateful to have my own mother and I hope to make her feel special on this day, but I am a mother too. I do not feel anything on this day but pity...for myself. Is this not terrible of me?


Those who have their children near them...I don't like them on this day either with their smug joy as their children and grandchildren line up on the pew Sunday morning, smiling and showering Mother and Grandmother with attention. "Oh, how many of your children and grandchildren are here today, Miss so and so?" Count them. They all stand. Isn't that a beautiful sight?

Why do I go this day; why don't I stay at home and sit by the phone and wait for the calls that will come. Obviously, I like pain. I sit by Guy in our corner and as tradition has it in our church, the oldest child goes to the vase of flowers and takes one to his/her mother. Grown children, little children, babies held by fathers gather flowers and fill the church with excitement as they hand one to their mother or grandmother. Oh, how sweet.

'I want my own child; I don't want to borrow a child'Yes, someone else's child always brings me a carnation from those left in the vase. I can see kids scanning the congregation, looking for a lone woman with no flower. I want my own child; I don't want to borrow a child. "Happy Mother's Day" they say as they hand one to me. It wilts before I get home from the sorrow I breathe on it. Poor, poor me.

I want to sleep through Mother's Day. Isn't that selfish of me? What would my mother do if I slept through it? She would be in the same shape I am in and I wouldn't want that.

When Guy reminded me that this Sunday was Mother's Day. I said, "So?" Isn't that awful? Ungrateful? Childish? I need to count my blessings instead of counting my woes.I have, after all, two of the finest children ever born and the finest grandchildren to grace the earth. What else could a mother want? I want Mother's Day to pass by me; that's what I want.

'I am jealous of my children's in-laws'I am jealous of my children's in-laws because I know they will spend a part of Mother's Day with them. There, I've said it; I can't take it back now. Just because they live within a short distance of them doesn't make me feel any better. Where is it written that that is even the least bit right? Not, Not, Not.

Guy always buys me a nice gift for Mother's Day. I know it is a pity gift. "I'm not your mother," I always say jokingly. He always says back, "I know, but you are the mother of our children." Those same children who aren't coming home on Mother's Day.

When Guy and I go out to eat on Mother's Day and I see adult children taking their mother out to eat, I want to go over and eat with them. Instead, I sit over my pizza and listen to the laughter surrounding me and go home to an empty house with Fluffy nipping at my heels. Bless Fluffy.

Confession makes me feel worse

Now that I have confessed, I feel even worse. Wake me Monday morning after Mother's Day has come and gone. Poor, poor me. Me, Me, Me. Poor, poor ungrateful, selfish, guilt-inflicting me. There is nothing worse, absolutely nothing, than making your children feel guilty. Have I done a good job! What would Mother's Day be without a little guilt?

Where will I be on Mother's Day? Sitting in church hoping one of those little kids will look my way and bring me a flower and say, "Happy Mother's Day."

That's where I will be and be glad to get it and be glad to be there with all the other mothers. I will keep telling myself that as I rush home to wait for the calls. You just attended my pity party.

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About the author: Carol (Sullivan) Perkins is a lifelong resident of Edmonton, KY, in Metcalfe County where she taught high school English at Metcalfe County High School until her recent retirement. She is a now a freelance writer. is married to Guy Perkins and they have two children: Carla Green (Mark) of Brentwood, TN and Jon Perkins (Beth) of Austin, TX and six grandchildren. Her latest book, Let's Talk About, is a collection of over 70 of her works, and she is presently working on the second book in this series. Carol's ties to Adair County go back to Breeding where her grandfather, Rufus Reece, and her grandmother Bettie Strange, began their married life and later moved to Metcalfe County. You may contact Carol at cperkins@scrtc.com or write at P.O. Box 134 Edmonton. If you would like a copy of her book, you can order through email. Watch for her next story on Sunday, May 17, 2009.

This story was posted on 2009-05-10 02:06:43

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