"[T]he last three months have furnished us with very freakish weather. Of course we hammer the groundhog as a sooth and a prophet; but his administration has closed. Sir Groundhog has control of the weather from the second of February for the period of six weeks when he retires to private life.

"He clearly saw his shadow on the accepted date; which meant 42 more days of winter. But when his period of reign closes he has no business afflicting us with more rough weather and the time comes when forbearance ceases to be a virtue.

"It is therefore ordered that he behave himself and let the weather alone. Otherwise it is decreed that he faces a firing squad and I have volunteered to serve as one of the executioners. Old as I am and as infirm by reason of shattered health, I am still able to shoot straight. We mean to give him three days of grace and if weather does not become more temperate he shall die the death of the unrighteous."