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Carol Perkins: Wild Kingdom

Previous Column: Stuck at home

By Carol Perkins

A few weeks ago (when I wasn't afraid of the virus), I bought a large box of assorted flower bulbs from a hardware store, intending to plant them in pots, watch them push through the dirt, and then replant them in my flower bed. I looked out the window one day and sitting on the edge of one of the pots was a squirrel.

I opened the door and yelled, "GET OUT OF HERE!" He did. Then I remembered an article I had read in the Glasgow Daily Times about how to keep animals from stealing bulbs from flowerpots. "Place a plastic fork with the tongs upright, and the animals won't come near."

I had a box of plastic utensils somewhere, but when I located the box, all the forks were gone. Only knives and spoons. I stuck several (to be on the safe side) into the dirt directly around the bulbs. I never saw another squirrel. However, in a few days, another problem arose.

FLIES. Dozens and dozens of flies surrounded the pots. I couldn't get near the flowers for fear a fly would go up my nose or in my ear. I called for Guy. "I have never seen so many flies except hovering over a dead animal." We had no fly spray, so I used a spray for ants and roaches.

In thinking about all those flies, I came to a very logical conclusion. They saw all those white plastic spoons and knives and thought someone was having a picnic!

Another incident occurred with our bird feeder. Having so much trouble last year with beautiful birds suicide bombing into our breakfast room windows, we moved the feeder to a safer location a few feet away. One night, we heard a crash on the deck. Guy ran to the door to see the house-shaped wooden bird feeder on the floor of the deck with seeds scattered everywhere. Something had tried to climb the shepherd's hook where the birdhouse sat. Guy assessed the probable cause and decided the culprit was a raccoon. I was confident it was a bear. Sure enough, the next night, the same thing happened, but this time Guy caught the raccoon in the act. The next day Guy said, "How do you place an order online?"

"What are you ordering?"

"A camera that hunters use to see what is around them." This camouflaged camera should arrive any day." This project will keep him busy for a few days, setting it up and checking to see what is trespassing. As for the flies, I think they figured out there were no hotdogs or hamburgers. The bird feeder is back in place, waiting for that raccoon to show up on the camera. I am hiding the shotgun.

Follow Susan and Carol-Unscripted on 99.1 the Hoss in Edmonton on Tuesdays from 10amCT to 11amCT and replay on Sundays from 4pmCT to 5pmCT. Listen to Carol's podcast at for entertaining stories and a replay of Susan and Carol-Unscripted.

This story was posted on 2020-03-27 09:05:41
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