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Remembering Cally: Goodnight... I love you... By Stacey Hatcher Wilson One year ago last night at 8:23 pm if only I'd known that would have been my last text from Cally I sure would have said a few more things... My last words to her were goodnight I love you... There are no words or emojis to describe the way I feel. My heart broke at 4:30 am on Monday, January 28, 2019. That's the day my baby girl Cally Paige Wilson McFall was found dead. There is no way to describe when you get THAT CALL and I pray that anyone reading this never has to. When I arrived at her home, I collapsed in the road when I saw the white sheet laying over her body outside in the yard. The thought of my baby laying outside on the cold ground all night and her body covered in frost is something no mother, father or grandparent deserves to see. Cally had battled addiction for sometime. It started off with marijuana in high school and ended with a fentanyl laced pill that night. I use to say if smoking pot was the worst thing she did it would be ok. But believe me when I say pot is the gateway to addiction and I truly believe that. Cally also battled depression, anxiety and physical abuse. She would tell me time and time again that I just didn't understand. And she was right. I didn't understand anxiety and depression. I couldn't fix what I didn't understand. But she just never found the answer she needed. Cally was physically abused, which she hid from me until her head was busted open and she couldn't hide it any longer. She had also had a miscarriage at age 17. She had to deal with things that I had never been thru and In her mind there had to be a magic pill to fix it or numb it. And there is the problem... a pill... In everyone's mind there is always a pill to fix it. The problem there is, there will come a point you can't get the pill legally anymore and you start buying off the street. These pills on the street now are homemade and laced with things that kill you. Believe me when I say I know and you don't ever want to know. I've always been the mother not to blame. I've always said 'no one blew smoke in her mouth or made her take a pill' and that is true. Cally made those bad choices. No one forced her to do anything she did. And with that being said she also didn't stand a chance when a local drug dealer sold her two pain pills that turned out to be nothing but fentanyl. That's why we have now got to change our way of thinking. I was told by an officer that her last call was to a man who IS 'just a pot dealer'. Well Cally WAS just a pot smoker at one time as well. Things change. Believe me I know. There is no such thing as just a pot dealer. We have got to change laws and start prosecuting these dealers, I don't care what they are selling, they are killing our children. We have to get these drugs off the street and pot is an illegal drug and I intend on doing everything in my power to start fighting to save our children. I knew in my heart Cally was in trouble one year before she died. I did what any mother would do, I moved right in and tried to fix it. When in reality the only thing I did was enable. I was the enabler. I made sure her bills were paid, her car was fixed every time she hit something and she had a roof over her head. I had cried, screamed, slapped, begged and pleaded. I forced her into rehab which she only ran from. Believe me when I say I have lots of regrets and should haves. Unless you have had to go thru this you have no idea. And addiction affects the whole family. I don't want Cally's death to just be another statistic. I want something positive to come out of her death. I prayed everyday that God would heal her and he did. He just didn't heal her the way I wanted. I know in my heart she had time laying there on the cold ground before she slowly took her last cold breaths to ask God to forgive her and I know in my heart God did. She had a peace to her beautiful face that I hadn't seen in almost a year and I know that was God telling me she's at peace now with him. I met a lady when I was 19 years old and she was explaining her beliefs to me when she caught the spirit and started speaking in tongues. I'd never witnessed anything like that growing up in a small Baptist Church. We bonded that day. When I was diagnosed with cancer at age 32 she came and prayed with me. She told me that God had plans for me and that I wasn't going to die. Multiple times she would call me to come to her thru the years and she would pray and each time tell me God had a special purpose for me. The last time she called and I went, I told her would she pray for God to tell me and not her. And her reply was 'Your not ready yet and you will know when it's time'. After Cally's death it hit me. God had plans for Cally and it was his calling her home that's helped save her friends and people I don't even know. I think she'd been preparing me for 27 years. I thank God for allowing me 23 years with my beautiful Cally and for leaving me Briggs. He's my saving grace. I do believe with all my heart that God wants me to use Cally's death to fight addiction. That's what my friend saw. My heart will never be the same. When you look at me out, odds are I'm gonna cry. Cally was my only child and my heart is shattered. Please pray for Briggs and I and help us make a difference in his mother's memory. Cally had a heart of gold and never met a baby she didn't love. She loved children with disabilities. I always told her that was her calling. If you have that pit in your stomach about your child like I did mine, please don't wait. There is a law called Casey's Law that can help you. Go to your county attorney and ask them what to do. I had the papers filled out 6 months before Cally died and she went to rehab on her own instead of me having to force her with the Casey's Law. I threatened it again a week before she died and she said she'd run if I forced her. I now live with the regret of why didn't I do it... So please don't end up with the same regrets I have. Save your children... My only wish was I could have saved mine... And please know if you sold drugs to my daughter that ended her life I pray a special prayer for you every night... And you will answer one day for the death of Cally and I'm praying very soon. I've done private messaged you and to all the drug dealers who have sold to her thru the years I pray the same prayer for you... So change your life now... ask God for help... turn yourself in to the police... just do something before you end up laying on the cold ground like my baby did... I pray that God can change the way my heart feels for you all someday but right now I'm not ready to forgive any of you. Seek help while you have time. And please don't come anywhere near me again for your sake... and to all the friends that used with her please get help. I know she couldn't do it by herself and I don't think you can either. So please ask for help and don't put your parents thru what I just went thru. I do love you all... Let's keep Cally's memory alive by saving lives... fighting addiction... arresting drug dealers... understanding mental health... understanding physical abuse... Please help me to keep her memory alive for her son and turn this tragedy into something positive so her death was not in vein. I've been writing this post for a year now. There has just never been a time it felt right to post it. It truly has been a year but it feels like it happened yesterday. I just want to say Thank You to my fiance Craig Bishop, all my family, my work family and my friends that have made a truly unbearable year bearable. Please forgive me for all the things I've missed and didn't show up for. I miss her so bad... Love you all... This story was posted on 2020-01-28 22:19:04
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