Have we been badly influencing the youth of Columbia with all this coverage of the James gang? Speculation has been flying since yesterday evening that one of our local banks was robbed.

The rumor has been growing nicely with each retelling, and by this morning one could easily picture long-lost relatives of Jesse James himself thundering off into the sunset with the Widows's and Orphans' Fund, and a posse of local officials in hot pursuit.

However, a local law enforcement official classified the attempted break-in as a non-event, resulting in only a broken window, and bank personnel tell us that "nothing was taken, and no one was hurt." They are filling out the proper paperwork with Columbia police this morning, presumably so that they can move on to getting the window fixed.

Instead of a gang of outlaws looting the vault, it sounds more like someone busted a window to try to steal their stapler. Jesse James would not be amused, but you don't need to worry about your Christmas Club account.