| ||||||||||
 
Dr. Ronald P. Rogers CHIROPRACTOR Support for your body's natural healing capabilities 270-384-5554 Click here for details 
  
Columbia Gas Dept. GAS LEAK or GAS SMELL Contact Numbers 24 hrs/ 365 days 270-384-2006 or 9-1-1 Call before you dig 
Visit ColumbiaMagazine's Directory of Churches Addresses, times, phone numbers and more for churches in Adair County Find Great Stuff in ColumbiaMagazine's Classified Ads Antiques, Help Wanted, Autos, Real Estate, Legal Notices, More... 
|
JD Gee: Pepe le Pew & Me A True Story of Grit, Raw Courage, and Genuwine Russell County Ingenillity: It is is so true it contains practically no embellishment, little veneer, and minimal blanket-stretching. It would be most unusual for some, but it's a was just another typical day in the life of our transplanted Kentuckian, Way Up North, p'liking he's a Buckeye. -CM By JD Gee From the Epistles of the Estonian, in medeas res There was a bit more excitement one recent Wednesday morning here north of the Green River than a rheumy-eyed, weak-kneed, crotchety old fellow like me might want. Our neighbors Kane & Delly (two of the Truly Good People of the world) have been live trapping and relocating a colony of feral cats, and my mother-in-law's daughter and I have been giving what assistance we can to their efforts. Soooooooo, on Tuesday night, we put one of the traps in our back yard, a few feet from the house. Next morning, my child bride beat me in our daily race to the coffee pot, and, as the winner, earned the right to look out the kitchen window first to survey the back yard, the garden (including the marauding squash plants; quick, someone get a pitchfork and a flamethrower!), and the live-trapped skunk that had seen the "free eats - inquire within" sign and wandered in to sample the larder. To quote Wordsworth (or one of those other stuffy old English poets), "My heart leapt up" at that last part. Boy, did it ever "leap up" - pole vaulted, it did -=- right into my throat, where it stayed for an hour or three. A few other organs spontaneously rearranged themselves as well, and I think one of them is permanently creased. My favorite wife insisted that she really had to go to work instead of hanging around to extricate Pepe le Pew. I mean, I was going to do the hard part and closely (but not too closely, you understand) supervise her work. She tore out here like, well, there aren't any words to describe exactly how quickly, although something about a flying mammal and the netherworld come to mind. Quite possibly, she teleported herself and her little blue car to the end of the street. Seriously now, did you ever see a three-cylinder Metro go from zero to 80 in three seconds flat? I'm pretty sure she was pulling into the parking lot at work, five miles distant, by the time she hit third gear. I'm tellin' ya, some folks just got no adventure of scents. After a while, I worked up my courage enough to go out and view the situation from a closer (but not too much closer) perspective. After a bit of cogitation, I figured out a way to get the trap open with no damage done either to me or Pepe, though I later had to hold a brief (arm's length) memorial service for the cardboard box used to cover the trap. In order to keep Pepe as calm as possible and to keep me from getting sprayed with eau du polecat, I covered the front (entry) of the trap with a cardboard box. Pepe took a bit offense at that and lightly sprayed the box - but not me. I then covered the rest of the trap, except the exit, with a trash bag, and covered the end (exit) with a towel, again, to keep him calm and me unsprayed. My rubber gloves - the cowards! - had gone into hiding, so I covered my hand with a plastic grocery bag, taped it to my arm, and undid the latch on the exit. Being a craven coward myself, I tied a cord to the handle of the exit door, tossed the cord over the patio clothes line, and lifted the door from the safety of the patio by way of the cord. Soon as the exit panel went up, I ducked into the garage through the side door and cleared the six steps from the garage to the side porch in a single bound - still unsprayed. After a bit, Senor Skunk nonchalantly waddled out of the (almost) No-Smell Hotel and on to bigger and better things. And I took a nerve pill! This story was posted on 2010-08-03 10:22:39
Printable: this page is now automatically formatted for printing.
Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know. More articles from topic News:
ACMS Cheerleaders raise $930 with fundraiser Hottest summer in 60 years expected to continue into August Columbia City Council report, August 2, 2010 meeting Rotary District Governor speaks at Garlin, KY Living Waters to sing at Tabor, August 8, 2010 Limerick: Best Town in Kentucky Link: Charges against Judge Mickey Garner dismissed Old fashion camp meeting at Old Bryant Farm The Blakeys singing at Kelleyville August 8, 2010 Time Controversy: Arizona does not change times View even more articles in topic News |
 
115 Jamestown St. Columbia, KY. 270-384-2496 
  
   
 Provided by the Adair Co Fiscal Court and the Adair Co. Emergency Mgt. Agency 
|
||||||||
|
| ||||||||||
|
Quick Links to Popular Features
Looking for a story or picture? Try our Photo Archive or our Stories Archive for all the information that's appeared on ColumbiaMagazine.com. | ||||||||||
|
Contact us: Columbia Magazine and columbiamagazine.com are published by Linda Waggener and Pen Waggener, PO Box 906, Columbia, KY 42728. Please use our contact page, or send questions about technical issues with this site to webmaster@columbiamagazine.com. All logos and trademarks used on this site are property of their respective owners. All comments remain the property and responsibility of their posters, all articles and photos remain the property of their creators, and all the rest is copyright 1995-Present by Columbia Magazine. Privacy policy: use of this site requires no sharing of information. Voluntarily shared information may be published and made available to the public on this site and/or stored electronically. Anonymous submissions will be subject to additional verification. Cookies are not required to use our site. However, if you have cookies enabled in your web browser, some of our advertisers may use cookies for interest-based advertising across multiple domains. For more information about third-party advertising, visit the NAI web privacy site.
| ||||||||||
