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Carol Perkins: The Nosy Raccoon

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By Carol Perkins

At one o'clock in the morning, I was reading a book, hoping sleep would come. The first sound coming from the back of the house I attributed to an animal running across the porch or the wind blowing down another limb. The noise grew louder and whatever was making the racket was close.

Without hesitation, I eased into the breakfast room and flipped on the porch light in time to see a mammoth raccoon climbing on my patio couch. For a few minutes, I watched as he put his front paws on the back of the couch, his back paws on the bottom cushions, pulled himself up, and stuck his nose to the dining room window.

What did he hope to see? I stomped the floor. He turned, looked at me, and froze. I was afraid to go outside, so I stomped and yelled again. This time, he jumped off the couch, turned around, assumed a pose, and glared. I was not sure what to do to get rid of him or to keep him at bay, so I yelled and stomped and slammed the door three times. He ran off.

If I had had a gun and a bullet, I would have shot him between the eyes. Even I could have made that shot sting. The next morning Guy said, "Who were you yelling at last night?" He had heard it all.

"What if it had been a person on our porch. Would you have gotten up? " He assured me that if it had been a person, I would have roused him. I replied to his question. "A raccoon looking in the dining room window."

The peeking raccoon made me think about what goes on at night and reevaluate sounds I often hear when I am going through one of my sleepless times. That may be why I need a gun. On second thought that would be a bad idea.

I had an aunt by marriage who thought she heard someone and ended up shooting herself and died. That's another story.

This story was posted on 2021-10-16 10:49:05
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