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Carol Perkins: Remaining self-reliant

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By Carol Perkins

I can dig a hole and set out a bush, but I can't get the lid off the Tide container. I don't know what it is about that lid that stumps me, but if Guy's not around to open it, I have been known to resort to punching a hole in the top. After he tells me how easy it was, I remind him that I had it.

Recently, I was going to make a blackberry cobbler. I unscrewed the ring on the jar of blackberries, but couldn't get the lid to budge. I tried the "pry it up with a knife" method, but after the knife slipped several times, I knew I could hurt myself. I ran the jar under hot water, but nothing happened.

When Guy returned from the post office, I was drinking coffee on the porch. "By the way," I said when he joined me. "I need you to get the lid off that jar of blackberries when you go back inside."

He shook his head, went inside, removed the lid, and said, "All I did was push it up with a knife." If I can do things for myself, I seldom ask for help. I hate asking for help if I can do something myself. However, I'm finding jobs that were once easy (like standing in a chair to paint the top of a window) are risky.

I'm also sometimes willing to take the chance when Guy isn't around to say, "You're gonna kill yourself!" (Older people do that and end up with a broken hip!)

There are people, however, who can't do anything for themselves. You know the kind. Not that they can't but they'd rather have someone wait on them. Someone else dig the hole for a bush or paint a window. Someone to get up and go get them a drink instead of getting it himself. When I witness this behavior, I want to say, "Are you helpless?"

As long as I am NOT helpless, I will remain self-reliant and so will Guy. I have postponed knee surgery because I don't want Guy to give up that independence. However, I have surrendered too long to the pain, the agony of the limp, and the misery of getting in and out of vehicles. The date is July 12th. I will try to be a good patient, but I might want to practice issuing orders a few weeks ahead of time.

"Guy, will you bring me a drink? Guy, will you hand me the remote?" Poor man.

Carol's most recent book, based on a true story, The Case of the Missing Ring, is available through Amazon, both paperback and ebook. You can contact her at

This story was posted on 2021-06-11 14:04:49
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