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Carol Perkins: Fluffy Sam can't sleep

Previous column: Finding the laughter

By Carol Perkins

I am not proud of my deed. As a matter of fact, Guy said I should be ashamed, but I had reached the point where I had to do something. Fluffy, our dog, had pushed my last button when he scratched on my side of the bed at two in the morning for me to put him on the bed. Then he positioned himself on top of my head and licked Guy's arm until he woke up, flung his arm across my head to rid Fluffy from his licking, and caused Fluffy to bark right into my ear.

Something had to be done about this dog's sleeping habits, or lack of, so I had a remedy. If an adult could fall asleep with a sleep aid, why couldn't a dog?


The next night Guy and Fluffy retired before I did. Guy was stretched out on his side of the bed watching TV, and Fluffy was lying peacefully at his feet. He would have been licking them if the cover had not been over them. I sneaked into the room with my pill behind my back, pried open Fluffy's upper and lower lips, and stuck the pill so far back he had no choice but swallow it.

"What are you doing?" Guy asked as he sat straight up.

"Don't ask."

"Did you give him a sleeping pill? You are going to kill him. He weighs nine pounds and you gave him an adult dosage?"

"I gave him half of a pill and it won't kill him." At least I hoped it wouldn't.

Fluffy hacked and gulped but finally swallowed the pill. I crawled into bed and waited while Fluffy wandered up to the pillow between us and sprawled out between us. I was proud of myself. However, the rest of the story occurred during the night while I was fast asleep under the influence of the other half of the pill and the hum of my c-pap machine.

"DO NOT EVER give that dog another pill. He was up all night, jumping off the bed and then clawing my side for me to put him back up. (He can no longer jump up by himself.) I bet he woke me up twenty times. Then he ran up and down beside me on top of the cover and tried to lick my face. When I pushed him away, he wormed his way up to my ears and arms and started over again. You didn't put him to sleep; you wired him up!" Poor Guy.

Looking for a little empathy for his prowling all night, I remind myself that Fluffy is a senior citizen. However handicapped he may be when it comes to jumping up on the furniture, and however forgetful he has become on where to use the bathroom, he has no trouble getting his way. I once overheard Guy lecturing Fluffy when Guy was trying to leave the house, and Fluffy was hanging on to a pant leg. "I'm the one who feeds you, gives you water, and changes your pads. What is the deal with you?" Fluffy snarled.

Fluffy has dog ADHD and, I have concluded, he doesn't sleep because he can't relax, so tonight I may give him a bowl of red wine or a cup of green tea. Better yet, perhaps I should just give one or the other to Guy. In the meantime, I'll be sleeping like a baby to the hum of my mask.


Excerpted from Carol's book A Dog Named Fluffy Sam, available on Amazon Kindle or in paperback on Amazon.com


This story was posted on 2019-03-01 06:15:54
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