Everything for Your Home's
Beauty, Comfort & Convenience 384-2123
704 Jamestown St, Columbia
Dr. Ronald P. Rogers
Support for your body's natural healing capabilities
Click here for details
Columbia Walmart Supercenter
Open 24 Hours
Click here for information
Real Estate & Auction Co.
Duo County Telecom
Now Available Through
Your Cable Service!
GUN & PAWN
What's Going On
Info about the
Janice Holt Giles
and Henry Giles Society
Columbia Gas Dept.
GAS LEAK or GAS SMELL
24 hrs/ 365 days
270-384-2006 or 9-1-1
Call before you dig
Directory of Churches
phone numbers and more
for churches in Adair County
Is It Just Me? Rant No. 2: Popsicles then and today
Remember when they were made right? With two sticks? Barbara Armitage does
Next earlier column: Is it Just Me? Rant No. 1. Fed up with: phone trees
By Barbara Armitage
Is it just me or did someone out there go and mess up one of my favorite childhood treats?
A few days ago I had a craving flung upon me and I called Wayne to tell him to bring home a box of popsicles from the Kroger. I haven't had a popsicle in this century but suddenly I couldn't wait to enjoy my personal favorite - grape.
As kids we had to eat it really fast to keep it from melting in the hot Florida sun a practice which would inevitably lead to that excruciating pain of the dreaded "brain freeze". The upside was being able to stick your tongue out at your little brother and not get in trouble for it because you were just showing him "what color popsicle you ate".
Eating a favorite old treat you haven't had in ages like a popsicle demands planning. This afternoon everything came together - just enough sun coming in on the porch to warm the couch. The house blissfully quiet, Wayne gone to Louisville, dogs asleep all over the yard, even the cat was curled up at my feet. A day like this only comes once in a woman's lifetime and I was going to celebrate with a little bit of frozen purple heaven on a stick.
That's when things started to go bad - what happened? Well first I want to know who told them that they could change a national treasure? Popsicles used to have two sticks. Is the economy so bad that we can no longer afford two little wooden sticks? There was a reason for the two sticks. There was an art to giving a popsicle a whack on the edge of the kitchen table to break it in half so that you could share one side with your best friend. Well no more, now they come as singles. Don't kids have friends to share with anymore?
I got past my initial disappointment of not being able to "whack" my popsicle on the table edge and got down to the business of eating. I was sure that sugary sweet grape flavor I remembered would be the same. OMG! It was horrible - I was positive that I had been poisoned! I ran back to the kitchen to check the box certain that I had somehow ingested a rat poison frozen treat of some kind. NO, it was worse than poison it was SUGAR FREE!
For the sake of science I actually sacrificed my taste buds so that I could say for certain that all three flavors failed to pass the frozen treat test. I choked down a grape, cherry and an orange popsicle and of the three only the cherry was almost edible. And while the experience did leave a nasty chemical taste in my mouth my tongue is a disappointingly normal color.
Get real people - what has this world become? Are we trying to take ALL the fun out of life? Cos if we are we're getting pretty darn close. If this keeps up we may actually be able to die of boredom soon.
So, is it just me or is there anyone else out there getting tired of sugar free, fat free, and taste free food?
Remember if it tastes bad - spit it out! - BARBARA ARMITAGE
This story was posted on 2012-09-27 00:31:59
Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know.
To sponsor news and features on ColumbiaMagazine, please use our contact form.
More articles from topic Commentary:
Proud of Hailey Taylor for her will power and courage
Comment KY law, Site Based Council Powers & School Boards
Jennifer Moody: Where is passion for pre-school programs?
A Statement for Colonel Wm. Casey Elementary School
Ken Hill: Col. Casey lived in different times
Comment: New School. New Name. New Beginning
Awakening Day: September 11, 2001
Remembering what today is
COF: No room for Night Time Mudhole water haulers
Commends Mayor, Council for important airport decision
View even more articles in topic Commentary
Click for Info
Bank of Columbia
Let Us Do the Yelling
Principal Broker & Auctioneer
Burton Real Estate
& Auction Service
Call Us For Appraisals
Click for Listings
On This Site
or Click Here
Columbia in the Movies
from the archives of
Click for Stories
The Best of
Local Stories of
The Greatest Generation
Order Book or e-Book
See who's celebrating
Birthdays and Anniversaries
Special Events List
Find Great Stuff in
Antiques, Help Wanted,
Autos, Real Estate,
Legal Notices, More...