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Carol Perkins: Keep It Simple

Carol Perkins has goals for the New Year we're in: 'In 2012, my main goals are to breathe deeply, relax more often, and establish my priorities. I'll keep it simple for 2012.' This column is one that oughta have been posted on Sunday, January 22, 2012. Apologies. This is a great column. -EW.
The next earlier Carol Perkins column: Carol Perkins: Las Vegas, Part II

By Carol Perkins

Keep It Simple

2012! I am still trying to find out what happened to 2011. It vanished right before my eyes. My grandchildren grew taller, I shrank about a half an inch, added a few more wrinkles to the face and a few more pounds to the waist, but otherwise, I am unchanged. The same old me.

However, there are some changes on the way! For 2012, I think I will revamp my disposition and my looks. I have been myself far too long and I am bored with the old me. She needs some spice and some intestinal fortitude.

For the coming year, I think I will stir up as much drama as I can and find out if that disposition is more fun than my own. After all, aren't there more rotten people in the world than good ones? The media would like us to think so. My usual temperament is to keep the peace and make everyone happy, but that is tiring and demanding and unrewarding. Perhaps I need to cause some unrest and "stir up Jack." (an old expression)

Where can I begin? What about in a parking lot of a huge store? If someone takes my parking space, the one I was waiting for with my blinker flickering, I won't just give a look and drive on, but I will take action. I will stop directly behind the car and when the driver emerges, I will let her know that that was MY spot and she needs to back out and let me have it. If she doesn't, I will sit behind her car and blow the horn. That will fix her.

If I am slightly delayed at a green light because I was not paying attention and someone behind me blows the horn for me to move on, I will sit there until it turns red again instead of hurrying apologetically to get out of the way. If he continues to blow, I will continue to sit.That will fix him.

The next time I am having a conversation with someone and he/she answers the cell phone (unless it is an emergency), I will no longer twiddle my thumbs until the person finishes, but I will stomp out of the room. I am sick of playing second fiddle to cell phones and to the point of rage over texting. What could possibly be so important that a person cannot go to any public place, including a funeral home, without texting and texting and texting?

I may also work on my looks. Recently, I have thought about a tattoo of a butterfly on my back, but my luck it would stretch over the years into a winged monster. Maybe I will pierce my nose and put a ring in my lip. That would be spicy. What can I do to my hair? Other than feathers, I might put a pink blotch down the middle. Guy would be so proud.

The extreme makeover would shock my family. "I knew this was coming; she hasn't been the same in the last few months." My friends will sneak off from me while acquaintances will steer clear and wonder what caused my change. Maybe, just maybe I need to rethink my plan. I could end up being the loneliest person in Metcalfe County. Instead of the peacemaker I would be the cause of much stress and anxiety.

In 2012, my main goals are to breathe deeply, relax more often, and establish my priorities. I'll keep it simple for 2012. At the end of this year, I'll let you know if I did. - Carol Perkins

This story was posted on 2012-01-25 01:15:56
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CJE presents service plaques to Danny Wilkerson, Kirby Hancock

2012-01-25 - Adair Extension Office, 409 Fairground ST, Columbia, KY - Photo by Tony Rose.
County Judge Executive Ann Melton presents plaques of appreciation to Danny Wilkinson and Kirby Hancock for their volunteer service as members of the Adair County Extension District Board, on which they had served the maximum number of years the bylaws allow.

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