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Carol Perkins: Calamity at the Checkout It is a fact of life that one never gets nearly mortally wounded checking out of a Lowe's. Except for our heroine, whose fault, it was not, she says. And never has to be as long as there is a husband still handy after 43 years of marriage, to blame. The next earlier Carol Sullivan column: Carol Perkins: Fix It By Carol Perkins When the boards hit me over the head, it was all Guy's fault. He caused me to see stars and all he did was laugh. Laughed AFTER he asked if I were hurt. HURT? I nearly had a concussion. I'm not sure I didn't because I haven't been thinking straight lately, even repeating myself. We were at Lowe's, browsing through the shelving, when I concocted the idea of adding shelves to an office wall in order to house my books that are now in different rooms of the house. Wouldn't it be lovely to sit at my computer and look to my left where three shelves, six feet in length, with just room enough for a part for my books would be hovering over me? That is when I convinced Guy that this would be a simple project because the boards were ready to install by adding brackets and a few screws. "You really want three shelves, six feet long?" He always has to second guess me. "Yes, I need these selves." We didn't bother to get a long cart for lumber, but instead wedged them in a regular cart and leaned the ends on the back of seat part, which was opened because I had set a few plants there. He wheeled the cart through the store because I couldn't see over the boards. At the checkout, while he was removing the brackets and box of screws from under the boards, I was standing in front of the seat part of the cart, laying the plants on the counter. Without warning, WHAM! All three boards, which were lying on top of each other, forced the seat area to close and in doing so, WHOPPED me on top of my head. Right in the middle of my skull. For more than a few minutes, I was dazed. Rubbing my head as if that would relieve the throbbing, I could feel a knot forming. I held out my hand to see blood, but none was there. So as not to draw any more attention than I was drawing, I pretended I was fine. "Oh, it didn't hurt too bad. I'll just have a sore head," I told the concerned girl at the checkout. Now, how was this his fault? In fiddling around with those brackets, he shifted the boards toward me and the force of that caused the accident. Can't you see this is how it must have been? Those boards didn't come crashing down on their own. He might have even given them a little nudge! After forty-three years, one never knows. After a few hours, my brain began to work normally and the circles in front of me stopped circling and I supervised as he installed my brand new shelves. As I write, I look at the lovely colors of the jackets as they brighten up the room. The project was worth a semi-concussion. A woman needs someone to blame and who better than the husband? -CAROL SULLIVAN This story was posted on 2011-09-25 15:57:39
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Have comments or corrections for this story? Use our contact form and let us know. More articles from topic Carol Perkins:
Carol Perkins: Fix It Carol Perkins: Sturgis, SD Carol Perkins: Driving fast Carol Perkins: Back to school Carol Perkins: Aunts Carol Perkins: Slang Carol Perkins: What will I do without Oprah? Carol Perkins: Les Miserables - and Taylor Swift semi's Carol Perkins: My Trip to the Holy Land. Part II Carol Perkins: My Trip to the Holy Land Part I View even more articles in topic Carol Perkins |
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