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COF is het up at Bobby D. Morrison

He implies that Bobby D. Morrison is From Off. Taunts Bobby D. Morrison as perhaps too casual about the Person with a Ponytail, photographically proven to have been on the nigh plumb right corner of the Rockhouse, as seen in The Rockhouse and Doodlebug Holes
Read whole story to see how I unequivocally agree with the COF and with Bobby D. Morrison's findings -ED


Mr. Morrison comments: "...not a real person.."

NOT a REAL person! (Yes I'm a shoutin')!

I suppose there ain't none such as Doodle Bugs and Nancy Bass doesn't hang 'round Spurlington Tunnel, neither.

This fella must be from "off" or certainly never matriculated from KU's round table of all useful knowledge.

at Dun Roman
High on a ridge o'er beautiful campus of Knifley University
Thanks COF. Understand your rilement. Me too. At first, but I've thought more about it and here's what I've found.

Of course Nancy Bass hangs around Spurlington Tunnel and OF COURSE THERE ARE DOODLE BUGS!

They've got me angried up and shouting, too.

But maybe we'd both better take one of our nerve pills.

I've learned in nearly 171 years on this testeronial plane that "From Off" is owing to where you are, and the distance needed is getting greater - as the world smallens - to properly classify One as From Off.

To one of us Southside Townies of the Fifties, Bobby D. Morrison, though from far-off Chance, KY, is not really From Off. Whereas for those from the near North Pole of the county - Knifley, Roley and Feathersburg - why yes, I guess being a Chanceman would qualify as From Off, even an outright foreigner; maybe even an alien.

When I was a kid growing up on Jamestown Hill, another kid from Fairground ST or Lindsey Hill, from five blocks away, would have been From Off, and I may have thought of the Flowers boys and Johnny Vaughn, from a mile away on Greensburg ST, as extraterrestrials - back then.

Now they don't even scare me and we pass and repass all the time.

For as I have aged, and become so cosmopolitan in my worldview, I don't even consider someone from a strange place like Social Bend to be From Off.

Hibernia? Raywick? maybe. Akron, most assuredly From Off. But in today's more tolerant world, we are all, mostly or somewhat, One People, whether we call ourselves Adair Countians, Russell Countians, Estonians, Unonians or Sanovians; Chicken Bristlers or Knob Lickers, Hegiratonians, Greshamites or Yosemites, Murdochites or Cronkites, Baptists, Foxhunters or Nazarenes.

Of course all those idjits who want us to quit keeping mean dogs and killer Asian reptiles, who want us to literally embrace the Beatitudes - the idjits who want us to totally act like Jesus instead of just converting people - they would would say Nobody is From Off, that Everyone Is a Neighbor.

We all know where that kind of thinking will get us, where it got Him.(Or do we?}

Rest assured that in this intellectual forum, we are sticking to the core questions of life: What is the truly kosher, really Christian way to hunt Doodlebugs? is the image on the Rockhouse Wall authentic or the mischief of an alien hoaxster? is the Cumberland River a big river? and What's the difference in a duck?

The first three are still so deliciously pondered and will be for some time. Only the latter, answered in the seventh grade at Columbia Graded and HIgh School - has eternal resolution: Tennis shoes because motorcycles don't have no doors

All of us who never grew up still laugh hysterically at that one just as though we stayed 13 forever. The Greatest Joke in the World. Now we can concentrate on all the other questions which really boil down to one:
The Golden Rule: Does it Apply in all Cases or why can't we just pick and choose?
Ed Waggener

This story was posted on 2010-10-11 19:51:42
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