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July 24, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener The article below first appeared in the July 24, 1979, issue of the Adair County News. Topics included the unpopularity of Joe Califano in tobacco country, a suggested slate for the upcoming City Council elections, Dad's plans for "frugaling," and yours truly as an 8-year-old, trying to tell a story about slushes. --Pen No tears for Joe There are no tears in Tobbaccoland for Joseph Califano, the lately unlamented, departed' Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. He waged a holy campaign against the use of tobacco and against tobacco research. Burley farmers in Adair County will surely not mourn his leaving I overheard a coffee drinkers discussion club in Jamestown, Tennessee, Sunday, and the consensus was that Califano was the worst in Washington. They weren't too high on the President. (They weren't favoring his re-election.) One said, "I'm for that fellow, that general, Nixon had in the White House. What's-his-name?" Another answered, "Alexander Haig." But a third said, "No general. No way. Eisenhower, for a do-nothing president, was alright, I guess. He didn't mess anything up, but he didn't help anything either. I still say, no generals." I agree with their opinion about Califano. (And reserve comment on the generals.) Except I always thought it would have been a real attention-grabber to have, located in Columbia, a "J. Califano, Tobacconist," store. Now, with his demise, the idea has less appeal. Salute if you approve Now it is nigh time to begin thinking about the 1980-81 Columbia City Council. Little is being said about the election to be held in November to elect persons to sit on this August assemblage. I believe that prudence demands that no comment be made on any possible candidates. So, we are choosing, instead, to run simple lists of six names from time to time. If you approve, salute. If not, maybe silence is appropriate. The first list is as follows: Art Gowen, Mary Allender, Ed Williams, Dr. M.C. Loy, Cotton Phelps, Ruth Hill Wells. Any or all. I have heard nothing which would indicate that any of these persons would run for city council. And I didn't ask them. It's just a list. . Look for the next list here or in the Daily Statesman, under the heading: COLUMBIA CITY COUNCIL PERSONS? Where can a bull bag be found The late Andrew Jackson Norfleet, editorialist and publisher of the Times-Journal in Russell County, used to be fond of carrying a snap purse. He'd feign (some would have doubted that to be the appropriate term) miserliness and really impress city slickers when he would pull out the snap purse and pay a bill, carefully extracting each piece of money, counting the total, and asking after each coin was laid on the table, "Now, you said that was $1.98, didn't you?" The seller knew that any man who paid from a snap purse was not a man to be bamboozled or trifled with. Mr. Norfleet, I'm sure, kept the act as part of his repertoire used toward building the legend which lives today, many years past his death. I have thought of that frequently, how just the game of frugaling is made more interesting by this exercise. I've been looking for a quality snap purse, to frugal from, myself. But the only ones I see are plastiky ones made in the Orient and emblazened with State mottoes. They're sold at shops which huckster tourist items. I asked Dagwood Gore, proprietor of Columbia Candy Company, if he had any snap purses, or if he had any of the extra long snap purses, which were called, I think, "bull bags." Dagwood didn't have any. Neither did my neighbors at Durham Grocery Co. Dagwood did have a suggestion, "Go see Dr. Billy Neat. He knows about government. Somewhere in the Federal government there are bull bags. Surplus. You could buy them cheap." Then he added, "Or you could take a short cut and get them from Haskin Coomer. He'd come as near having them as anyone. He has everything or knows where to find it." I'm still working on that. If anyone can help, and tell me where to buy high-quality leather bull bags or snap purses, I would appreciate knowing about it. I am in a hurry to spend the pittance it would take to buy one so I can start frugaling and get rich. A snake story My oldest son was excited about an adventure he had the other day. "He saw a snake!" my wife said. "Tell me about it," I said: "where did you see it?" "Well," he began, "I was on my way to the Convenient to buy a slush. I had the dollar you gave me and the 40 cents of the dollar Momma promised me, and..." I interrupted, "Where did you see the snake, Pen?" "I'm getting to that," he answered. "I had the dollar you gave me and the 40 cents Momma gave me out of the dollar she was supposed to have given me," he continued, "and if I had had 60 cents more I would have had two dollars. I was going to buy an orange slush." I interrupted again, "Where did you see the snake?" "I hadn't really made up my mind whether or not to buy an orange. They have good lime and grape slushes, too," he continued. But that time, I was exasperated. The durned snake could have been in the refrigerator or the bomb shelter-wine cellar-sulking room, for all I knew. I remembered then the fellow who used to tell Benny Breeding stories down at Breeding-town. Benny, who in real life has now become a chemical engineer, would tell how the fellow would begin stories. The fellow would say, to paraphrase what Benny said he said, "Well, I was over to Edmonton t'other day, with Jeannie, my daughter." Then he would appear thoughtful. "Naw, naw, I wouldn't want to lie to you. It was Sally, fer I tell you why. Jeannie was home sick in bed. Well," he would continue, "Me and Sally was over there. Let me see, it was of a Tuesday. And we were at Depp's Restaurant. Naw, Naw," he would correct himself, "it was of a Wednesday, for I tell you why. It was stock day." Then he would continue. "Naw, naw, it wasn't of a Wednesday, that was the time before. The time I was there with Jeannie, when she wasn't sick. Well," he'd continue, "I was over at Edmonton with Sally, it was of a Thursday, for I tell you why: The paper was out and I asked Robert Depp if I could see the paper and he said it had just been printed and the paper comes out of a Thursday, and..." The introductory details always took a long time. Benny said that the listeners always broke into a smile after a time, as the audience listened, interminably, to the raconteur's monologue on exactly what day his experience happened "of." I broke into a grin, while my son was still explaining the difference between the flavors of slushes at the Convenient. It made him angry, I suppose, because, when I asked again, "Where did you see the snake?", he said, "I'm not going to tell you." I still wouldn't know, if his mother, from whom the hard-headed Marcum in him derives, hadn't relented and told me. But I forget just where she said it was. I believe it was in front of Adair Home Supply. I think that is where she said it was. But I wouldn't want to lie to you. 'Naw, I think she said he had turned the corner on Reed Street and saw it there. But I'm not sure and I would want to be very exact about such matters. This story was posted on 2020-12-27 10:54:53
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January 23, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener August 30, 1977 Around Adair with Ed Waggener December 28, 1977 Around Adair with Ed Waggener January 30, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener June 26, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener December 13, 1977 around Adair with Ed Waggener August 7, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener August 14, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener September 29, 1981 Around Adair with Ed Waggener November 20, 1979 Around Adair with Ed Waggener View even more articles in topic Around Adair with Ed Waggener |
 
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