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Guest Columnist - Brbb News

This article first appeared in issue 35, and was written by Johnny M. Vaughn.

I hate to beat a dead horse, but again this year I feel compelled to express my disappointment in the efforts of the Bear Board. At one time you and your publication reported on the activities of the Bear Board and their findings. Those of us who have been diligently pushing forward with the movement with little sleep and no pay are entirely disappointed.

I have been blessed with the acquaintance of a gentleman and outstanding wing shot, one Mr. Sonny Gains, from the mountainous section of Eastern Kentucky. Mr. Gains, as I understand, owns a mountain in Eastern Kentucky which he has improved with a cabin and 5+ acre lake full of large stocked trout. As long as three years ago I was informed by Mr. Gains, a scholar and gentleman, that he had observed the elusive black bear on his property.

In a recent interview, Mr. Gains has indicated that the invasion of bears has reached titanical proportions. In addition to breaking down his apple trees, the bears have now discovered his high protein trout food and, in the way of uncouth and pushy bears, proceeded to eat in one setting 50 pounds of trout food, and then, due to the extreme stress to the stomachs of said bears, made unspeakable gastronomical insults to the front porch of his cabin.

At present I am on standby to assist in aiding him and local fish and wildlife officials with this problem.

Through the generosity and understanding of Mr. Dwane Loy, I have obtained permission to live-trap and transfer the surplus bears from Mr. Gaines' property and release them on a large hilly tract of Mr. Loy's on Melson Ridge. This tract provides the ideal bear habitat. It has a cave and--honestly, per Mr. Loy--has a planted blueberry patch.

I have obtained and customized a bear surveillance van, camouflaged in a dark pattern, as bears are primarily a nocturnal animal. It is evident that I have gone to extreme effort and expense to further the Bear Board Project. Therefore you must entertain my disappointment in the lack of activity of other Bear Board members. My Expense Voucher will follow.

Sincerely,

Johnny M. Vaughn



This story was posted on 2001-06-15 12:01:01
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